Catullus-inspired poem

I wrote my poem in class today stealing lines from two of Catullus's poems, 8 and 85. I love how he captures the bitterness and conflicting emotions of love; I feel like it makes his work timeless.

A translation of 8 is here, and one of 85 is here.

Hair

I hate & love. And if you should ask how I can do both,
I couldn’t say; but I feel it, it and it shivers me

I love your hair,

I hate what it does to me,

I hate the way you just walk around like it’s absolutely nothing,

With it flowing behind you like a dark waterfall and catching my breath in my throat,

It’s not nothing! Don’t you get it? Weren’t you listening at all? Didn’t they warn you?

It’s becoming an obsession—what’s wrong with me? My dreams are swimming in a river of long hair

I hate how you don’t know

I hate how you might know

I hate knowing that I’ll hate you the day that I’m forced to sit down

And listen to a list of reasons that you hate me

And brush a stray hair off my arm

And feel a pang in my chest knowing that it’s too straight and thick and dark to be one of my own

But I love our talks

I love your smile

So warm that I almost don’t believe that it’s hiding anything at all

And your hair—damn it, your hair

I have to stop this nonsense

I’ve got to stop chasing you now—cut my losses

Harden my heart & hold out firmly against you.